Tantrum management is not an easy task; however, as a parent, you need to know some methods in order to control your child’s temper. See how!
First, you should know that the tantrum is usually the manifestation of a physical or emotional need that appears at an early age. In general, it should not exist in children older than seven years. So considering the above, let’s review some of its causes.
This may be the easiest area to attend to, because with satisfying it, the child stops unwanted behavior. Therefore, scolding, arguing or punishing, is usually worse. The knowledge you have of your children and the time you have observed them makes the difference. Let’s see, then, some physical needs that can trigger a tantrum:
Illness, sleepiness and fatigue
When your child is sick, try to help them express their discomforts so that you can help them relieve those discomforts as much as possible. When they feel exhausted, invite them to go to bed, help him relax and rest.
Some hyper sensitivity
Hyper sensitivity is usually something that we do not easily recognize and that can be manifested by some very loud, shrill sound or one that the child does not tolerate. This could also be smells, rough clothes and everything that irritates any of their senses. Observe, question and act as soon as the first signs of discomfort appear; if you let hypersensitivity explode, you will have a colossal tantrum!
This area is a real challenge, because it directly addresses the development and emotional formation of your child, of which you must be very attentive and seek a healthy comprehensive development. Let’s review the following emotions:
These are the tantrums that appear when a child does not win in a game, for example. Teaching a child to lose, to tolerate frustration or lose without grudges are things that are not taught when the tantrum appears, since the child is lying screaming, will never listen to you, nor will you care what you say. These important principles are taught in daily life, little by little, with the example, talking about the feelings that are experienced and awareness of how to react.
A power struggle is when two people have totally different views or positions and neither party has any intention of giving in. It’s something like seeing who wins or who can win more. And, although it seems illogical, some parents are “like children” to discuss with their children and suddenly you do not know who is making the tantrum, if the son or father.
When you do not do what the child wants, there is a tantrum; as simple as that. Try to show them who’s older and who’s younger, so in that way the child could also learn to respect.
Manipulation of parents and limits
Again, the knowledge you have of your child and the time you observe to know what their reactions are, will make the difference in the assertiveness that your intervention for tantrum management becomes. It is in this range that the child is said to manipulate the parents through crying and tantrums as such.
If your child throws a tantrum and you detect that it is one of these emotional needs, remember the following tips!
Tantrum management methods
- React calmly, breathe and do not scream.
- Do not argue or fight, do not start the tantrum.
- Do not ridicule it.
- Distracting it with something else is just that, a distraction for brief moments. Then they will remember and they will start again.
- Avoid the scenes; be respectful with the people around you. Much more if you find yourself in a public place where the screaming can interrupt.
- Go to a private place but do not punish the child by isolating him. You can stay with him, but without paying attention: if you pay attention or give in to their desires and whims, you will be condemning scenes again and again.
- Let them cry, let them kick. For safety, stay so close that they can see you and you then. And, well, it is better to have a place where they cannot stop crying but make it clear that this is not the way to ask for things or get them.
- Once they stop crying, hug them and go to do something other than what you wanted. Leave that for later where you can teach and talk with your child calmly.
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